


For You I Endure

by ProdigyBlood



Category: South Park
Genre: (Butters goes by He/Him to begin with), Abuse, Acceptance, Aged-Up Character(s), Butters pronouns are They/Them, Character Death, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Not Happy, Other, Princess Kenny McCormick, Romance, Schizophrenia, Torture, bunny - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-16 11:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProdigyBlood/pseuds/ProdigyBlood
Summary: Chaos, like her, like Mysterion and like Kenny, was broken. It was a break so bad it could not be fixed, not without reality kicking in and utterly destroying the person behind the façade.So Princess Kenny endured. She endured because to fight back meant to completely and utterly destroy Butters Stotch and she knew that Kenny McCormick had feared that outcome so much that he had vanished, leaving her and Mysterion behind, alone and defenceless and cursed to suffer through the mess that he had left behind for them.





	1. After

**Author's Note:**

> This short little fic isn’t a happy romance - Apparently I can’t write them anymore haha. Expect feels.

Outside, the pendulous purple-grey clouds of the brewing storm blocked the nights sky leaving only all consuming darkness that ate away at everything. There were no stars, no moon to cast a silvery glow upon the world below and as such, through the grimy windows leaked no light. Despite this, somehow, the dark room was shrouded by even darker shadows that almost seemed to haunt the vast building, casting sinister shapes with gaping mouths that promised to swallow its occupants whole. 

The bare trees rattled and scraped against the dusty windows of the old, long-abandoned warehouse. The wind howled through their branches, whispering haunting lullabies which would better keep one awake with chattering teeth and a shiver down their spine than than lull them to sleep. 

And all the while, Princess Kenny silently sobbed to herself. 

Her hands were chained, her wrists raw, bleeding and infected. Colourful bruises decorated her face and her all-too-weak-to-hold-her legs. They were, instead, folded beneath her, little more than useless. She had long since given up on cursing them. 

“We’ll figure something out,” a deep voice said from the darkness. Princess Kenny raised her chin from her chest, her unfocused eyes staring ahead though she could not see the speaker. 

“You said that before.” Her throat was sore, parched from lack of water and food. She didn’t sound much like a princess anymore. She barely even sounded human. “We’re still here, though, aren’t we?”

“ _I’ll_ figure something out,” the gruff voice said. “I’ll get us out of this mess.”

Princess Kenny managed a humourless laugh. “Oh, please, Mysterion. You and I both know you’re not real. Just like I’m not real,” she added the last part too quietly to be heard by ears other than her own. Of course _he_ heard, though. 

“We’re real enough,” Mysterion said through the darkness. “And Kenny needs us right now.”

“Kenny hasn’t been with us in a long time. He gave up, he left us behind.”

“No,” Mysterion argued, “he just put his trust in us because he knew we were strong enough to get him out of this.”

“Then he was an idiot. One month later and we’re still shackled in this place.” Princess Kenny let her head flop back down to her chest. It was too much effort keeping it up, too heavy for her weak body to support. Besides, it wasn’t like there was anything to look at. All she could see was black. She’d grown weary of black a long time ago. Black was hardly a colour for a princess. 

“If you had just stopped eating like I told you…”

“Do you know how horrible it is, starving to death?” she snapped back at the darkness. Of course he knew. They were one and the same, after all. Still, it was hard to remember that sometimes. Sometimes she forgot who she really was, sometimes she found herself truly believing the delusion forced upon her by her captor. This wasn’t one of those moments. Not quite, anyway. 

“But if we die – ”

“-Then we wake up in bed as if none of this had ever happened. Goddamn it, I know!” Anger fuelled her weak voice, giving it fire. “If you think you can kill us any better then you’re welcome to try!” Mysterion had no answer to that. The silence stretched out until the princess found herself breaking it with a dry laugh that lasted longer than warranted. 

There was no escaping the situation. Mysterion couldn’t kill them because Mysterion couldn’t take charge. It was the princess that their captor wanted and so it was the princess alone who could save them. Their escape was in her hands and yet she couldn’t bring herself to refuse the meagre scraps brought to her daily; just enough food and water to keep them alive, too little to provide her with energy enough to escape or fight back. 

“Why are you laughing?” Mysterion asked. 

“Why not?” she countered. “I’m already crazy, right?” A beat. “We both know that even if I was strong enough to do it, I wouldn’t.”

Mysterion started to reply – 

There was a sudden sound. A creaking that set her teeth on edge and a bang that quickened her pulse and brought a sweat to her neck. The heavy, metal door across the corridor had been opened and closed. 

He was coming. 

“Mysterion – ” She couldn’t help the fear in her voice. She tried to lick her sore, cracked lips but her mouth was too dry. 

“I’m here,” he promised. “I’m always here.”

His words provided little comfort. He was just a voice inside her head after all. 

Princess Kenny felt her tears dry on her cheeks, the fear stopping fresh ones from falling. Her breath caught in her throat as she heard the key slip into the lock. It turned. 

Light blinded her, causing black shapes to swim across her vision. She squeezed her eyes shut against the unwelcome yellow glow and the silhouette that basked in it in the now open doorway. If she couldn’t see him then maybe she could pretend he wasn’t real. The flaw in her plan was that she could still hear him. He left the door open, allowing the light from the corridor to illuminate the room. His boots echoed on the cold, stone floor as he walked towards her. She could hear his heavy breathing too and, after a moment she could feel it on her flesh, warm and smelling slightly of apples. 

She forced herself to open her eyes and look upon the face of her captor. He was knelt down before her, smiling not unkindly. In his hands he held a bottle of water and a half loaf of bread. 

It was his eyes, though, that she focused on. They were blue like her own, though a shade lighter, and had a thin scar running across the surrounding flesh of the right, weaker, eye. They were kind eyes. Too kind for somebody holding her like this, chained and afraid. 

“Let me go,” she said to him as she did every time he came to visit her. 

“Now, Princess, you know I can’t do that,” Professor Chaos answered sadly. 

His obvious heartbreak just made it all the worse. She wished his attitude was the same as his actions because then, at least, she could hate him for it. Instead, she could see the broken person behind the alter ego. The person who knew what they were doing was wrong, the person who was screaming at themself to fix this, to set her free, to _save_ her. 

But Chaos, like her, like Mysterion and like Kenny, was broken. It was a break so bad it could not be fixed, not without reality kicking in and utterly destroying the person behind the façade. 

So Princess Kenny endured. She endured because to fight back meant to completely and utterly destroy Butters Stotch and she knew that Kenny McCormick had feared that outcome so much that he had vanished, leaving her and Mysterion behind, alone and defenceless and cursed to suffer through the mess that he had left behind for them. 

 


	2. Before

Butters Stotch had locked himself in a cubicle in the boys toilets and refused to come out. It was all anyone was talking about that morning. When the teachers couldn’t pry him out they had sent in Stan and Kyle but they, too, had failed. Eric Cartman went in next but it was of no surprise when he failed to draw the boy out. Even Wendy Testaburger braved venturing inside the toilets to talk to him. 

Before the principle called his parents, Kenny McCormick decided to give it a shot. 

When the door to the toilets opened Butters expected more of the same. People telling him he’d get into trouble, people telling him he _wouldn’t_ get into trouble. People begging him to come out, people telling him it’d all be better in the morning.

Instead, Kenny leaned against the cubicle door and slid down to the floor. He didn’t say _any_ thing. Butters only knew it was Kenny because he could see the trademark orange Parka through the gap under the door. 

They sat in silence for a long while. Finally, it was Butters who cracked. 

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” 

“I’m sure they won’t miss me.” Butters could hear the shrug in Kenny’s voice. He’d expected a ‘shouldn’t _you_ be in class’ retort and, as such, found himself stumped for words. So they just sat in silence as the minutes ticked by. The door that separated them did not stop Kenny from hearing Butters sniffles but the taller boy didn’t ask any questions. 

“Kenny?” Butters voice was small.

“Yeah?”

“What’s it like to die?” 

Butters thought he saw Kenny stiffen, his hands resting on the cold floor curling into fists. “How should I know?” Kenny’s voice failed to remain casual. 

“Well,” Butters awkwardly twisted his hands together from his place on the toilet, “because you’ve died before. A lot.” Kenny’s breath hitched but he didn’t say anything. “Why don’t people remember?” 

“Why do _you_ remember?” Kenny countered, accusation in his voice along with something else… _hope._

“Gee… Well, I don’t really know,” Butters said uncomfortably. “I don’t think I’ve always remembered, unless it started recently?”

“It didn’t start recently,” Kenny said.

“No, I didn’t think so. So what’s it like?”

“Why do you ask?” 

Butters reply came out as little more than a whisper. “Because I think I want to die.”

There was a shifting and suddenly Kenny was lying on the floor, his eyes peering up at Butters through the gap underneath the cubicle door. The blue orbs were filled with concern as he stared up at his smaller friend.

“Why do you think you want to die?” Kenny asked softly. Butters hesitated and then lowered himself from the toilet, sitting on the floor so that Kenny could see him better. It would be easier if he opened the door but Butters wasn’t ready for that step yet. 

The movement shifted his long sleeve and Kenny caught a glimpse of dark bruising on Butters arm. And, though he wasn’t certain, what looked like a row of long, thin white scars. 

“Well, gee, I guess I just feel like it would be easier than living sometimes.”

Kenny sighed, his hand reaching under the toilet door to take Butters. The smaller boy looked at their entwined fingers in surprise but didn’t pull away. Kenny’s nails were painted different colours; somehow this didn’t surprise Butters. It just kind of suited the taller blond. The polish was chipped and imperfect, kind of like the boy sporting it. Not that Butters _really_ believed that Kenny was imperfect. “You don’t want to die, Butters.”

“I don’t?” 

“Dying is horrible.”

“But what about being dead? What’s that like?” 

“It’s not like much of anything,” Kenny said. “Being alive is better.”

“Aw shucks, it is?” Kenny’s only response was to squeeze Butters hand tightly. They stayed like that, Kenny lying on the floor, his cheek against the cold tiles and arm stretched out, holding Butters hand, for a long time. 

Eventually Butters sniffed. “I think I’m ready to come out now.”

“You sure?”

“Uh… Well, not completely, no. But I guess I could give it a go.”

“Okay then.” Kenny let go of Butters hand and pushed himself up from the floor. Butters watched his feet move back, out of the way. He took a deep breath and hauled himself up, hesitating at the lock. His hands shook a little as he slid it back but he persisted. He’d been in the cubicle for hours, he was about ready to leave the claustrophobic, smelly room now. They hadn’t talked much but sitting with Kenny had definitely helped. It had been refreshing to not be asked what was wrong or worse, told to man up. It had been nice just to know that somebody was there for him.

When the door between them opened, Kenny moved silently forward and pulled Butters tightly against him in a silent hug. Butters eyes widened in surprise at the action but, after a moment, he melted into the hug, relishing in the feeling of being held. It was nice to know somebody cared. Nice to know that somebody wanted him to keep on living. And, Butters was surprised to realise, it was nice that it was Kenny that was that someone.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/139273360@N08/39344082010/in/dateposted-public/)


	3. After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is all pre written so it’s only going to take me as long as it takes me to draw the chapter art to update (I’ve challenged myself to do a doodle for each chapter)

The princess was alone. Being alone was sometimes worse than being with Mysterion – a figment of her own goddamn imagination. At least when he was around she had someone to talk to, or just someone to be comforted by the presence of. When he wasn’t around she found herself being consumed by dark thoughts. They ate away at her flesh, slow and torturously, leaving her mind exposed. For a princess, her mind was a scary place. Monsters haunted it, hand in hand with the dark thoughts that made her feel worthless and afraid. Dark thoughts that made her want to die. 

_What if this is my life forever? What if I can never escape? Maybe I would be better off dead, dead forever instead of this sucky immortal crap. Maybe I should just give up. What will happen to Butters if I stop? Or Marjorine? If I let Chaos win what happens to them…?_

She wished she didn’t give a crap about Butters. This would all be so much easier if she didn’t care. She couldn’t help it, though. She cared too much, enough to make her heart ache. She cared about Butters and she cared about Marjorine. Hell, she even cared about Chaos and he was the one who had thrown her into this living hell. 

She could almost laugh at it all. They were perfect together, really. Two teens so screwed up that they both had multiple personalities to help them cope. There was the originals: Kenny McCormick and Butters Stotch, two frightened and abused teens with their own problems who just happened to find comfort in one another. Then there were the girls: Princess Kenny and Marjorine, one innocent, the other devious but still so compatible and protective of one another. 

Finally, there was Mysterion and Professor Chaos. Arch enemies; one on the side of good, the other evil. And yet, despite this, they still loved each other. A forbidden love that would only ever bring pain. But it didn’t matter, because they were equals. They were Yin and Yang. They could handle one another. It was fine. 

Until it wasn’t.

Princess Kenny still didn’t quite understand what had happened. Somehow things had gotten screwed up. Chaos had gone after the wrong person. He’d gone after _her_. The rules had changed and Butters Stotch was nowhere to be seen. Chaos had taken charge and he wanted the princess.

Kenny had fought for a long time. He’d tried to reason with Chaos. He’d tried to draw out Butters. He’d tried to find out what had happened to break them so. Instead, Kenny himself had broken and had allowed Chaos to manipulate the princess from him. She had been stuck in this Hellhole ever since. A part of her resented Kenny for that. Another part of her hoped she was strong enough to protect him from this heartbreak, even if it destroyed her in the process. 

Moving her shackled hands, she reached for the almost empty bottle of water Chaos had left for her. She picked it up slowly, her trembling fingers clumsily fumbling with the lid which dropped to the floor and rolled away. It didn’t matter, this was her last few sips for the day. After that, she’d have to wait until Chaos returned, until he was kind to her again before becoming the monster she had become accustomed to. The monster that hurt her as badly as he, himself, was hurting. 

She almost managed to lift the bottle to her dry lips before it slipped, tumbling to her lap where its contents spilled onto her tattered dress. As she felt the damp soak through to her legs she wondered whether she should laugh or cry. She’d happily scream but it wouldn’t come out as anymore than a croak. She tried anyway, feeling the itchy burn in her throat as the raspy cry cracked on her lips. The tears came then. Everything had been taken away from her, even her ability to scream. 

Using her near useless fingers, she fumbled at the wet spot of her dress, leaning forward to stuff the filthy material into her mouth, sucking at the moisture. It was better than nothing but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.

“You could always make him kill you.” Mysterion was back. She could hear him as if he were sitting opposite her but, through the darkness, she could see nothing. There likely wasn’t anything to see. 

“He wouldn’t.”

“If you make him angry enough…” Mysterion argued feebly but he knew as well as she that it wouldn’t work. There was nothing she could say that would hurt Chaos more than he was already hurting. He was broken and if Kenny hadn’t been able to fix him then she stood no chance. The best she could do now was to keep suffering at his hands until he either worked through his issues and released her, or decided to do what Butters had wanted to do all those many months ago in that bathroom stall. She only hoped, if he resorted to that and she couldn’t convince him otherwise, he would do her a small mercy of taking her out with him. She really didn’t want to starve to death, alone and afraid. 

“Mysterion,” she said quietly, after a long silence. He didn’t answer for a while and she started to panic, thinking he’d abandoned her like Kenny had. She couldn’t face that. Finally, however, she heard a mumbled reply. Relief swelled at her heart. “Do you think he’ll ever tell us what happened?”

“I’m not sure he even remembers anymore,” Mysterion said sadly. 

“That’s what I thought,” she mumbled, letting her chin drop to her chest and her heavy eyes droop closed. 

Her dreams were full of monsters.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/139273360@N08/27280815148/in/dateposted-public/)


	4. Before

“Come on.” Kenny stretched out his arm, wiggling his long fingers through the air. He had a band-aid wrapped around his index finger, and another across his wrist. Kenny was always covered in band-aids. The boy had bad luck when it came to injuries. Fortunately, these ones weren’t life threatening. Other times, he wasn’t so lucky. 

Butters stared at the hand waiting patiently to be joined with his own. He was aware of the people in the park, not one of them paying the two teenage boys any mind, yet still he felt them stare. 

“You’re breaking my heart here, Butters.” Kenny laughed, his smile too bright, the twinkle in his eyes too shiny. 

“How are you so happy?” Butters found himself asking, still not taking the hand extended towards him. Kenny sighed and stepped forward, snatching his prize for himself and squeezing the fingers tightly. 

“Because I’m with you,” he said and Butters saw no lie in his words. He couldn’t help but smile, allowing the taller blond to drag him out of the park. “Are your parents home?”

“Well, no, but – ”

“Excellent!” Kenny started to drag the smaller boy through the snow dusted streets. He had his parka hood up against the cold but the chill still slapped at his cheeks, turning them pink. His smile didn’t falter despite the cold, after all, Butters fingers in his own warmed him in a way his jacket could not. 

Kenny led the way to Butters house as if it was he who lived there and not the other blond. He leaned against the wall as Butters fumbled with the key, opening the door and letting them both inside. The warmth swallowed them.

“Oh boy, I’m gunna be grounded for sure,” Butters mumbled as he closed the door behind him. He almost jumped as he turned around to find Kenny’s face smiling impishly inches away from his own. His freckled cheeks had dimples that gave him an innocence ruined by the devious glint in his eyes. 

“Why would you be grounded?” Kenny all but sang. Before Butters could reply, he pressed his lips against Butters in a firm but brief kiss. Blood rushed to Butters cheeks. 

“T-that’s why,” he said quietly, but he smiled shyly regardless. 

“I won’t tell your parents if you don’t. Besides, if I remember correctly, your dad’s totally closeted gay.”

“They won’t ground me for being gay… Well, at least, I, um, don’t think they would.”

“Then why?” Kenny was already heading for the staircase, leaving a blushing Butters with no choice but to follow. 

“I’m not meant to have girlfriends – or, gee, boyfriends, I guess – round when they’re not here. They think I’ll get up to no good.”

“Butters Stotch? Get up to no good?” Kenny gasped in jest, raising an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine anything you do is no good.”

They were up the stairs by now. Kenny’s blue eyes sought out Butters door and he strode purposefully over to it, flinging it open like he owned the place. “Tell you what, we can leave the door open if you think it’ll make them feel better,” he teased. 

As Kenny flung himself onto Butters bed, making himself at home, Butters clicked the door shut. 

“You devil,” Kenny said, smirking. “Now come here, I want a cuddle.” Like an obedient puppy, Butters plodded over to the bed, tucking himself up against the taller boy where he fit perfectly. Kenny rolled slightly, all the better to nestle his cheek against Butters hair. His fingers reached up, stroking the shaved sides before threading through the mess of blond absently. 

“Say, Kenny,” Butters said sleepily, his hand winding around Kenny’s waist as he shuffled closer to the other boy. “Have you… y’know… recently?”

“Died?” Kenny frowned against Butters head. He was still trying to get used to somebody knowing about his curse. For sixteen years he had suffered alone. It was weird having somebody he could confine in now. Somebody who remembered and cared and wanted to make sure he was okay. “Not in a couple of weeks.”

“Good. Be careful, okay? I’d be awfully sore if you didn’t come back one day.”

“I’d never leave you alone,” Kenny promised. He moved his head so that he could meet the other pair of blue eyes, pressing the tip of his nose against Butters and smiling fondly. 

“I’ll hold you to that. There’ll be heck to pay if you break your promise, d’you hear?”

“I hear,” Kenny mumbled, shifting his nose so that it slot easily beside the other, as if it belonged there. He smiled against Butters lips, enjoying the slight hint of apple as his tongue gently pried them apart. He meant it, too. Kenny never wanted Butters to return to that dark place he’d been in a month ago, when they’d sat on the toilet floor together. Kenny never wanted Butters to be alone again. If that meant he had to try outrun his bad luck and never die again then he’d do his damn best to make sure he did just that.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/139273360@N08/40261636305/in/dateposted-public/)


	5. After

Chaos’ hand was soft against her cheek and the princess couldn’t help but lean into it. She hated that her body betrayed her like that. She should fight him, hate him even. She certainly shouldn’t relish in his affection. It wasn’t as if the affection ever lasted. She could see the dagger he had left on the floor just out of her reach. She was more than aware of the pain that was soon to follow his gentle touches.

Chaos’ hand moved from her cheek, brushing a strand of long blonde hair from her face. “Oh princess,” he said sadly, “I wish you’d stop fighting me.”

“I’m not fighting you,” she said, though she knew it was hopeless. He was convinced she was against him, convinced that she still fought him when in reality he had broken her a long time ago, if she’d even ever had the resolve to fight him at all. 

“It pains me to see you like this,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “A princess doesn’t deserve to be in chains.”

“Then let me go.”

“You’d only run.”

“I promise I won’t.”

Chaos laughed humourlessly. “My dear, you think me foolish.”

“Why do you even want me? Do you even remember anymore?” She’d asked him that same question countless of times. She always received a different answer. There was no rhyme nor reason to Chaos’ behaviour. He simply _did_ because if he didn’t, he would shrink up and vanish and, behind the façade, the last thing Butters Stotch wanted was to vanish. 

“We belong together,” was his reply today. “I’ll make you see that eventually.” His touch became less gentle as he took her chin between his fingers and pushed his lips roughly against hers. She didn’t flinch away. Even if she’d wanted to there would be no point. She didn’t want to, though. Messed up as it was, despite everything, she still longed for his kisses. If only he could see past his delusions to realise that was true. 

Princess Kenny didn’t see him reach for the dagger but she felt the red hot pain as it sliced just under her collar bone opening a fresh wound that stained her filthy dress with crimson that would, soon enough, become a stain of near enough black like so many of the other blood splatters that covered her. She hissed in pain, moving her head away as Chaos caressed her cheek.

“Hush now, you bring this upon yourself.” She didn’t bother arguing. At this point she was starting to wonder whether it was true. Maybe she had done something to deserve this. Maybe she was fighting him without her knowledge. “Don’t fight me,” he said to her, so she didn’t. 

She didn’t fight as he touched her. She didn’t fight as he carved up her flesh. And, when he was finished, she kissed away his tears and pressed her forehead against his. She ignored the pain from the wounds he’d inflicted. After all, she’d had worse. _This_ was worse, seeing Butters breaking through, however slightly, and crying as they realised what they’d done. This was why she endured. Because maybe, just maybe, one day she would break through completely and be able to bring Butters out of the darkness. 

Of course, if she did manage to die, she could always come back, healthy and strong and try a different approach. But something told her that if she died, she wouldn’t return to find a living Chaos but, rather, a dead Butters. She couldn’t handle that. 

So she endured. 

“Will you ever stop fighting me?” Chaos mumbled. She could feel his forehead wrinkle up against hers. He sounded drained. He sounded broken. 

“I’ll never fight you,” she said though she knew that wasn’t what he heard. Whatever had happened to break Butters so completely had left them blind to the fact that she was on their side. They were convinced she, like the rest of the world, was against them and she could see it break their heart a little more every day. She wanted to break through to them but she didn’t know how. She wasn’t sure it was possible any more. 

“One day, you’ll see,” Chaos told her, kissing her forehead. “I do this because I love you.” 

The princess felt a tear slide down her face as she watched him walk away. If only he could see that _she_ let him because she loved _him._

As the door shut behind Chaos, the princess was plummeted into darkness once more. The gloom ate away at everything until she was alone with just the rats and the smell of her own blood for company. 

She waited for Mysterion to come. 

Eventually she accepted that maybe he had abandoned her too.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/139273360@N08/39348089580/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’m all doodled out for today haha. I’ll continue posting tomorrow hopefully :)


	6. Before

“Butters? Is that a dress?” Kenny arched an eyebrow as he rooted through Butters closest out of pure nosiness. Butters, who had been sitting at his desk working on a sketch, startled, throwing a panicked look at the other boy. Kenny laughed at his expression. “Relax, dude. Don’t forget you’re talking to the guy who spent months dressed as a princess for a game.”

“Do you still – Never mind.” Butters looked away sheepishly. Kenny smiled lazily and walked over to the desk, throwing his arms around the smaller boys shoulders. 

“Do I still like to dress up as a chick every now and then?” Kenny brought his lips to Butters ear until Butters could virtually feel his smirk. “Of course. Japan crowned me an official princess after all, it would be rude _not_ to.” Because it was Kenny and Kenny could make everything sound sexual, Butters felt a shiver vibrate down his spine. The impish boy laughed and kissed Butters blush, leaving the other boy to wonder whether he’d answered seriously or not. 

Returning to the closet, Kenny continued his rooting, quickly finding the blonde wig. “Say, does this have something to do with, um… Marjory?”

“Marjorine,” Butters corrected, the blush still burning his cheeks. He tried to focus on his sketch but he was too worried about Kenny judging him to be able to concentrate. 

“You looked cute back then,” Kenny said. “I’d love to see you dressed up again.”

“Oh, gee, r-really?” 

“Of course, Butterscotch. I better you’re a cute girl.”

“Not as cute as you,” Butters said before he could stop himself. Kenny smiled again.

“Aw, Butterscotch~! You’re just the sweetest! Tell you what, I’ll don mine if you don yours.” He carefully put the wig back in its hiding place and returned to Butters, ruffling the tuft of blond that crowned his head. “Plllleeease?”

“Aw, I dunno, fella,” Butters said sheepishly, still avoiding eye contact with the impish boy. “My parents’ll be awfully sore if they catch me dressing as a girl. I’ll be grounded for sure.”

“Don’t worry your cute little head about it. I don’t have my clothes with me now anyway. We’ll just wait ‘till they’re out, okay?” 

And so it was decided. They’d wait until the weekend, when Butters parents were visiting his grandmother, and then Marjorine and Princess Kenny would officially meet. “I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to be a lesbian,” Kenny said in delight, laughing at Butters blush. 

 

As the weekend arrived, Butters found himself nervously pacing the house. It seemed like his parents would never leave. Every time they went for the door, they would turn around with another threat for him. 

“Don’t even think of throwing a party or you’ll be grounded for weeks, young man,” his mother said, gripping his arm in a painful hold that was sure to leave bruises.

“N-no ma’am,” he said. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Don’t take that patronising tone with your mother!”

“Oh, gee, dad, this is just my normal voice.” 

“Butters!” His dad grabbed him by his collar, eyes dangerous. “Do we have to take you with us after all?”

“No, sir, I’m sorry sir.” 

“It sounds an awful lot like you want us to leave you alone.” Butters gulped nervously, his gaze dropping to where his father still balled his shirt in his fist. Of course he wanted them to leave him alone. His parents scared him. Sometimes he wished they’d go away and never come back. At least then he could maybe finally be true to himself. Then again, maybe his true self was stupid after all. He was planning to tell Kenny when he got here, but it was just another thing making him so nervous that his parents thought he was acting suspiciously. 

“N-no, of course not,” he protested meekly. “I’m just worried you’ll be late and make grandmother mad, is all.” Butters made a silent prayer that his father would believe him. His fear of his parents was nothing compared to his fear of his bully of a grandmother after all. 

His dads eyes narrowed, as if trying to spot Butters lie. Eventually he released his son, roughly pushing him away so that the small blond tripped, falling ungracefully to the floor. “If we return to even one thing out of place you will be so grounded, mister!”

From his place on the floor, Butters nodded silently, not daring to speak incase he said the wrong thing or used a voice his parents deemed ‘funny’. 

“You’re father’s speaking to you, Butters,” his mother snapped, reaching down to yank him roughly to his feet. If she hadn’t left bruises before, she definitely had this time. 

“Y-yes. Sorry! I won’t touch anything, I promise.”

It took another ten minutes before his parents were finally out of the door and in the car. Butters watched fearfully from the window, not feeling safe until the car was out of sight. Even then, his stomach felt unsettled, fear that they would turn around and come straight back niggling away at him. He waited at the window for a whole hour before the nerves in his stomach settled and he decided they probably wouldn’t be back until the following evening. 

He dropped his gaze to wrist, wincing as he spotted the dark bruises already sprouting up. There was no way Kenny wouldn’t see them. Maybe he should just cancel after all? He already felt strange about the whole arrangement as it was. Hell, he liked Kenny an awful lot, but Marjorine was a secret of his and he didn’t know how he felt about sharing her, not even with Kenny. Then again, Kenny made him feel safe in a way nobody else could. Kenny made him feel safe enough to confess the secret he had been harbouring for a while now. If it was with Kenny, maybe allowing his female alter ego to appear wouldn’t be so scary. It wasn’t as if he’d be alone. Kenny was dressing up too. 

Still, dressed as Marjorine, Butters arms would be exposed. The fresh bruises weren’t the only thing he wanted to hide, although Butters suspected Kenny had already spied the scars that lined his arms like battle wounds. If that was true, the impish blond had never mentioned it which, perhaps, meant he still wouldn’t, even when faced with the reality of Butters pain. 

It wasn’t as if Kenny didn’t have his own demons. If anyone would understand, Butters was sure it would be Kenny. After all, Butters was fairly certain that Kenny hid behind masks for the same reason as he did. They were both screwed up. They both desperately needed the other. They needed somebody to accept and love them, flaws and all. There was nobody better out there for them than each other. 

When Kenny knocked an hour later, Butters let him in with a smile on his face. That smile only faltered when Kenny clicked the door shut behind him and took him in his arms, holding Butters tightly like he never wanted to let him go. 

“Those bruises…” Kenny didn’t finish his sentence but there was a slight hint of anger in his tone. Butters eyes widened against Kenny’s chest. How was he so observant? How had he noticed the flash of bruises under his sleeves in the few seconds it had taken to open and close the door? 

“I’m fine,” Butters said, though his hands balled up, gripping tightly at the orange parka, clinging onto Kenny as though he was an anchor keeping him rooted to the world. If he let go maybe he’d sink into oblivion and never be seen again. Butters wasn’t sure he wanted to be lost, not anymore, not since Kenny had stepped into his life. 

Kenny didn’t argue. He just held Butters tightly in his arms until Butters breathing calmed and he relaxed into the hug. Only then did Kenny pull away slightly so that he could plant a soft kiss against Butters lips. 

His kisses were always so gentle, so tender. Butters hadn’t imagined the school slut could kiss like that. Whenever he’d imagined kissing Kenny, back in the days when he’d believed it would only ever be a fantasy, he’d pictured rough kisses filled with passion and fire. Although they might be nice, too, Butters had to admit he much preferred the loving kisses he received from the boy instead. They were the kind of kisses that set loose butterflies in his stomach. They were the kind of kisses that made him want a million more. They were the kind of kisses that made him realise that, perhaps, he was starting to fall in love with Kenny McCormick. And boy, was that a scary thought. But it was exciting too. 

“Come on,” Kenny said happily, although the hard edge in his eyes from Butters bruises had yet to completely soften. “Let’s go upstairs. I even have lipstick. I can’t wait to leave a trail of lipstick kisses on you.”

“Oh jeez, Kenny,” Butters protested bashfully, but he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips as he let Kenny lead him up the stairs and into his bedroom. 

Butters didn’t give his parents a second thought as he clicked the door shut behind him.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/139273360@N08/41185992581/in/dateposted-public/)


	7. After

The darkness behind her eyelids became red as unexpected light filled the room. The princess scrunched up her eyes, trying to roll her tired head away from the unwelcome light. She wondered what time it was. Surely it couldn’t be time for Chaos to visit yet but it wasn’t as if anybody else knew where she was or had probably even bothered to search. Whenever Kenny died, nobody noticed. The princess doubted they noticed him going missing, either. 

“K-Kenny?” Her bloodshot eyes flew open at that voice though she hardly dared to hope. It took several seconds of rapid blinking before her eyesight focused enough to spy the hesitant guest standing in the doorway. 

She wasn’t quite right, but she wasn’t wrong either. It wasn’t Butters Stotch standing in the doorway but Marjorine. 

“Marji?” The princess blinked uncertainly, her weak voice barely carrying to the doorway. As her eyes further adjusted, she noticed the girl was barefoot, the soles of her feet black and bloody. She only wore a summer dress and her bare legs and arms were dotted in angry bruises. Apparently unconcerned with her own state, however, the girl rushed over to the princess, rattling the chains that bound her as if she could break them with sheer force. 

“I’m so sorry it took me so long to come,” Marjorine said, tears brimming in her eyes. “I tried but…” Her eyes dropped, telling the princess so much more than her words could. Chaos was well and truly in charge right now. 

“How did you manage to give him the slip?” Her voice was dry and cracked but her concern for the girls safety still leaked through. 

“That doesn’t matter,” Marjorine said. “I need to get you out.” Her eyes flickered around the room, searching for anything of use. 

“You don’t have the key?” The princess’ heart sunk a little. 

“He keeps that well hidden from us,” Marjorine said. “We’ve both tried so hard but – ”

“Both?” The princess interrupted sharply. “Butters is still around, too?” 

“Of course.” Marjorine furrowed her brow, her lips pursing as she halted her search to fixate her pretty blue eyes on the princess’ tired, bloodshot pair. “Chaos doesn’t give us much freedom but we’re still fighting. Don’t tell me…” Understanding finally washed over her and she gasped, bringing a hand up to her mouth as her eyes began watering once more. The princess noticed that Marjorine’s usually flawless nails were bitten down to messy stubs. 

“Chaos wanted the princess,” Princess Kenny said sadly. “He wanted her enough that I’m all that’s left. He broke me, Marji.” Princess Kenny’s eyes were filling with her own tears now. 

“You’re not so broken that you don’t remember,” Marjorine argued, cradling the princess’ face between her own hands. 

“But I don’t feel Kenny any more. He abandoned us. And even Mysterion has left me now. I’m all alone.” 

“I’m so sorry.” Marjorine pressed her forehead against the princess’. The princess’ was warm, too warm. Marjorine let her gaze move to her bound wrists, seeing clearly how inflamed they were, infection seeping out of them. 

“Hey,” the princess moved her own arms so that she could mirror Marjorine, cupping the other blonde’s face. “It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you. But I need you to tell me what happened. Why did Chaos take charge? Why does he want me?”

“Y-you don’t remember?”

The princess brow furrowed at that. “Should I?” 

Marjorine opened her mouth to reply but, before she could, a sudden panic filled her eyes. She shook her head frantically, suddenly afraid. Princess Kenny took that to mean she could feel Professor Chaos pushing back through to the surface. Whatever the girl had done to take change for a bit, it was failing her. 

“Ken, listen carefully, I don’t have any time,” Marjorine said, stroking the back of her fingers down the princess’ cheek. “I can’t break you out like I’d hoped, but I can help you.” Her gaze dropped and Princess Kenny followed it. Clutched in trembling fingers, Marjorine held a familiar dagger. 

“Marji, no!”

“It’s the only way, Ken.” 

“But you don’t know what he’ll do! I’ve spent a lot of time with him, he’s not awake like you. He doesn’t remember.”

“I know.”

“You can’t, I won’t let you!” The princess voice was suddenly fierce, stronger than it had any right to be in her current state. 

“You don’t have a choice. Butters and I agree it’s for the best.”

“Don’t give me that crap. Of course I get a choice! It’s my life, my body! I’d rather say here, chained for a hundred years than let _you_ die.”

Marjorine’s forehead pressed against hers again, her lips suddenly crushing against her own dry pair in a too-short kiss filled with desperation and unsaid words.

“We can’t deal with this anymore,” Marjorine said when she pulled away. Her eyes were teary but determined. “We’re too broken and it only get’s worse the longer we let this continue.”

“But… I’m willing to carry that burden for you. I… I love you, Butters.” 

Marjorine blinked and then Butters pulled away from the comfort of her façade, tilting their head and blinking rapidly, surprised by the change in names. 

“Kenny?” 

“It’s me,” Kenny said feverishly. “I remember what happened and it was _my_ fault. I can’t let you pay for that.”

“We don’t have time for this, Kenny. Jeez, I can feel Chaos in my head and, well, he’s not like Marji and me. He’s his own person and he’ll keep you here forever.”

“I’m okay with that, Butters.”

“Well, Kenny, the thing is, I’m not. So I’m gunna do this, okay? And you’re gunna wake up in bed safe and sound like none of this ever happened. Let me rescue you, Kenny, okay? Let me be the good guy as well as the villain.”

“You’re not a villain,” Kenny protested meekly. He would struggle against his binds but he just didn’t have the energy. All he had left was his voice but begging was going to get him nowhere. 

“Gee, you’re sweet, Kenny but-” They moved closer, touching their lips against Kenny’s. The soft kiss and the feelings it brought about weren’t enough to disguise the burning in Kenny’s gut as the dagger pierced flesh and organs, sliding easily inside of him until only the hilt remained. “-Aren’t I?” Butters concluded sadly as they pulled away, bringing the dagger free with them. 

Kenny sagged, his vision blurring as he tried to focus on the wound he knew to be fatal. All he could focus on was the fast spreading blur of red. Somehow, he managed to lift his head, finding Butters who was watching him die with tears in their eyes. Kenny couldn’t tell if they were tears of sadness or happiness. They were probably both. 

“He’ll kill you,” Kenny said, frowning as he tasted blood on his lips. 

“We’re okay with that,” Butters said. “As long as you’re safe. We love you, Kenny. Even Chaos, perhaps especially Chaos.”

“But I don’t want to live without you,” Kenny protested, though his words came out slurred, clumping together messily so that he wasn’t sure Butters would understand them. Somehow, the other blonde seemed to understand, though. They smiled through their tears, coming forward again to cradle Kenny’s head as he died. 

“It’ll all be over soon,” Butters promised, pulling Kenny’s wig from his head so that they could stroke the greasy blond locks concealed beneath. “Promise me one thing, though, fella. Don’t forget me, okay?”

Kenny tried to say he could never forget but words had become heavy in his mouth that tasted strongly of iron. Butters seemed to understand, though. 

The last thing Kenny remembered before he died was Butters singing him to sleep, stroking his hair. He thought he might have also heard the pained scream that was Professor Chaos breaking free from his bounds but Kenny couldn’t be sure.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/139273360@N08/41210106611/in/dateposted-public/)


	8. Before

Kenny was braiding Butter’s hair for them, carefully manoeuvring the strands of the blonde wig in order to keep the braid as neat as possible.

“Are you going to grow your own hair out?” he asked the other. “You’d look pretty.”

“Gee, I don’t know, Ken,” Butters nervously wiped their hands across their dress. “My parents’ll be awfully sore about that.”

“Butterscotch, you can’t let them run your life,” Kenny said, trying his best to keep the anger out of his tone. More than anything, Kenny wanted to steal Butters away from their terrible home life and their abusive parents. Butters would hear none of it, though, and, even if Kenny could convince them, it wasn’t like his own parent’s could put up the other blonde even if they wanted to. “Have you spoken to them about your pronouns yet?”

“Oh geez, I couldn’t. They’d ground me for sure.”

“Everyone at school is cool with it. Hell, even Cartman is starting to get it right. You can’t come home and let them call you what you’re not.”

“But, well, they’re my parents.”

“So they should love you regardless.” He knew it was stupid saying it. If Butters parents loved them at all, he’d eat his own shoes. They were abusive fucks who didn’t deserve a child as honest and sweet as Butters. As soon as they finished school, Kenny was going to take Butters far away and make sure they never saw their parents again. 

“You’re awfully sweet, Kenny.”

“Damn straight I am,” Kenny said proudly. “But don’t tell any of the guys that or they’ll rip me to shreds.”

Butters laughed gently. “Your secrets safe with me.” 

Kenny leaned down so he could kiss Butters soft cheek. He’d never tire of doing that. He’d never tire of doing anything that involved Butters Stotch. 

“I fucking love you, you know that.” He felt Butters cheeks heat up under his lips and an impish smile spread across his freckled face. “I fucking love that I can make you blush like that, too.”

“I love you, too, Kenny,” Butters said bashfully. 

Just then there was a noise of someone walking up the stairs. Butters stiffened and Kenny’s hands froze in the others hair. They hadn’t heard Butters parents come home, they’d been too distracted in each other to pay attention. 

It was too late now. Butters was in a dress, the carefully braided wig attached to their head. There was no time to change. 

Kenny stepped in front of Butters just as the bedroom door opened. 

“Butters?” It was his dad. His eyes narrowed as he noticed Kenny standing protectively in front of the other blonde. “What’s going on in here?” 

‘Uh, nothing, pop. Kenny an’ I were just…” Butters trailed off, failing to come up with an excuse. Butters dad moved further into the room, navigating so that he could see past Kenny. His eyes narrowed. 

“What the fuck are you wearing?” he growled. 

“Gee… well…” Butters wrung their fingers together nervously, still not standing from the chair. Kenny’s fists clenched by his side. 

“I asked you a question, son. What. Are. You. Wearing?” 

“It’s just a dress – ” Butters started to say but Kenny interrupted. 

“Butters doesn’t go by male or female pronouns. Maybe you should learn more about your child?” Mr Stotch’s anger was suddenly focused on Kenny, the nice man persona he always tried to keep in check around people who were not family fading in the single beat of a heart. 

“And who the fuck do you think you are, encouraging him with this sort of… of unnatural behaviour?!” 

“Their behaviour isn’t unnatural,” Kenny said, standing his ground. 

“‘Their’? He’s one fucking person and that’s a boy!”

Suddenly it didn’t matter that Kenny was only sixteen and shorter than Mr Stotch, he was too angry to care. The worst that could happen was him dying, and he wouldn’t even stay dead anyway so Kenny didn’t see why he shouldn’t get right into the adults face. 

“You’re a fucking disgrace of a parent,” Kenny growled. “You don’t deserve a child like Butters.”

Butters had seen their father angry before, knew how he could be, but they had never seen him move so fast. Suddenly the taller man had Kenny by the scruff of his orange parka and was tossing him aside. Butters watched in horror as Kenny crumbled against the wall, groaning. Stephen Stotch then rounded on Butters before they could do more than cry out.

“Change out of those clothes this instant, young man,” Stephen growled, slamming his hand down on the desk Butters sat at.

“Y-yes sir.” Panicking, Butters stood quickly. As long as they did what was told, Kenny would be allowed to leave. Butters didn’t care about themself, just as long as Kenny was okay. 

“Butterscotch, don’t do it,” Kenny said with a light groan as he hoisted himself to his feet. 

“You’ll do as I say,” Stephen yelled, his fist suddenly colliding with Butters face, knocking the blonde to the floor where they laid dazed, a hand against their cheek and tears of shock and pain forming in their eyes. 

“You bastard!” Kenny was charging at Stephen, landing an impressive punch on the man before he had time to react. Before Kenny could strike again, however, Stephen once again grabbed him, this time squeezing his fingers around Kenny’s neck, cutting off his air supply. Kenny reached up, trying to pry the fingers away from his neck.

“I’ll thank you for getting the fuck out of my house and staying out,” Stephen said, dragging Kenny across the room and into the landing. 

Finding their feet, Butters rushed out after them, just in time to watch the struggle as Kenny desperately tried to break free, frantic to escape Stephen’s hold and protect Butters. Stephen slammed Kenny against the wall, knocking the wind and the fight from him, leaving him dazed. 

“Butters, you’re never to hang out with this – ” he slammed Kenny against the wall again “- terrible influence ever again, you hear?” 

“Dad!” Butters eyes were large and pleading. “I won’t, just let him go.”

With Stephen’s attention focused on Butters, Kenny took his chance. The force of his head hitting the wall not once but twice had left him sluggish but he wasn’t going to give up on Butters that easily. If Butters wouldn’t stand up for themselves then Kenny would do it for them. He’d always look after Butters. 

Using the wall as leverage, Kenny kicked at Stephen’s chest, hoping to knock the wind out of the man, allowing him to escape. Unfortunately, Kenny hadn’t paid mind to just how close to the edge of the stairs they were. The force of his kick sent Stephen stumbling backwards and suddenly loosing solid ground beneath him. 

He kept his hold on Kenny’s neck as he fell. 

“KENNY!” Butters screamed out, rushing forwards with an arm outstretched as if they could grab the blond before he fell. Their fingers snatched only air. 

Kenny’s head smacked heavily against a step as they tumbled. Somewhere during their decent he heard a loud crack. The hand around his neck slackened. 

Suddenly he was on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. His vision was dark and he knew there had been one too many hard smacks against his head. He wouldn’t survive, but that was okay. He’d protected Butters and he’d be back by morning anyway. It was fine.

His vision blurred and refocused and through the darkness he saw a face staring back at him. Kenny squinted, trying to make out what he was seeing.

Stephen Stotch lay beside him, eyes open but unseeing, his neck at an unnatural angle, explaining the crack Kenny had heard as they fell. 

Kenny felt a tear slide across his nose, staining the carpet. He hadn’t meant to kill him, he’d just wanted to protect Butters. He hadn’t wanted this, he –

His eyes were too heavy. He couldn’t fight the darkness anymore. His eyelids fluttered shut as he heard feet rushing down the staircase, ungraceful and slipping on more than one step. By the time Butters reached him, Kenny was dead.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/139273360@N08/27340069788/in/dateposted-public/)


	9. After

When Kenny McCormick woke up in bed it took him a moment to remember what had happened. When it all came back to him in blinding technicolour, he bolted upright, throwing the covers off himself and tripping out of bed in his haste. Gone was the tattered princess dress, instead he was dressed in his usual orange parka. 

The wounds Chaos had inflicted on him were gone, his malnutrition having corrected itself in his death, his frail body filled out and healthy once more. It wouldn’t have mattered to Kenny if he were still skin and bones, it wouldn’t have stopped him. 

Pulling on a pair of shoes and not bothering to lace them properly, Kenny ran from his house. He had to get to Butters. Had to save them before Chaos did something stupid. He didn’t know how long it had been or where Butters would be, though. They could be at their parents – their moms, he amended mentally with a sudden guilt – or they could be at the warehouse. But which one? There probably wasn’t time to check both, if there was even any time at all. The time it took for Kenny to return always varied. Sometimes it was mere hours, sometimes it took all night and others – No, he wouldn’t think about others right now. He had to stay hopeful. There was still a chance Professor Chaos hadn’t done anything stupid yet. There was still a chance Butters was fighting him. Because Butters knew Kenny would return even if Chaos had forgotten. 

Kenny decided to try the warehouse. It was the last place he’d known Butters to be, after all. It was his best hope. 

Kenny ran all the way there, not loosing faith in Butters as he fought against the pounding in his chest and the icy cold that burned his lungs and throat. 

Kenny only stopped running when the fire truck blurred past him, its siren wailing. There was a feeling in his chest that he tried to ignore; it didn’t mean anything, just because it was heading in the same direction, it didn’t mean anything –

Resuming running, Kenny reached the hill that overlooked the warehouse. He was almost there, he could make it, he –

As he ran, a warm glow caught his attention. He felt something drop inside of him but he didn’t stop. He didn’t stop even as the warm glow in the distance became an obvious raging fire right in the location he was racing to. He didn’t stop even as a gathering crowd started blocking the way, curious people watching the ravaging fire swallow the old, abandoned warehouse whole. He didn’t stop as somebody called his name. 

Kenny only stopped as a firm hand grabbed him shoulder, forcing him into a halt. 

“You can’t go any closer, son,” The police officer said firmly. “Don’t worry, there was nobody inside.”

Kenny let out a breath of relief. Thank God. Butters must have gone home. The fire may have even been unrelated. He still had time, he could run to –

“-Kenny? Where’ve you been, man?” Kenny swivelled, spotting Cartman, Kyle and Stan pushing through the crowds towards him. 

“We haven’t seen you in, like, a month, dude,” Kyle said, frowning with annoyance. 

“I’ll catch up with you later,” Kenny promised quickly, “I have to go – ”

“Sarg? They found a body.” 

Kenny’s blood turned to ice as he heard the voice call out to the officer who’d stopped him. He whipped around again, vaguely aware of Stan saying “Holy shit, dude! I wonder who – ?”

Kenny knew who, though he didn’t want to believe it. There was nobody else it could be. 

He felt his legs crumble beneath him. He was distantly aware of his friends calling his name, gathering around him to check if he was alright, but they were like background noise. He couldn’t focus on them. He couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to breathe. He didn’t want to live anymore. 

He was too late.

“I just heard them say it’s a kid,” Kyle was saying and Kenny turned his head blankly to look at the red head. 

“Kenny, do you know something? Kenny?” Stan was in his face, his eyes wide. “Kenny, do you know who was inside?” 

“Butters,” Kenny found himself croaking, his voice hollow. “It was Butters.”

He didn’t say anything more, didn’t answer another of his friends questions. Didn’t respond when they begged him to say he was joking. Barely even noticed that they were crying, wasn’t aware that he was crying either. 

At some point there was a police officer trying to talk to him but Kenny couldn’t hear what they were saying, nor could he focus his gaze upon them. Vaguely he was aware of his friends answering questions, in his peripheral vision he could see the blur that was Stan and Kyle hugging. 

It was all just background noise, though. It was meaningless. 

Butters was gone. 

The world wouldn’t mean anything ever again. 

Butters was gone and Kenny could never follow them. And that was his punishment, he realised. He was doomed to keep on living in a world where Butters no longer existed. 

No! That was bullshit. He wouldn’t accept that. He wouldn’t!

Climbing to his feet, Kenny pushed past the faceless people, ignoring the calls of his name, ripping his arm free of the hands that tried to hold him back. 

He was full of determination. It was that, alone, that got him past the police and fire men and into the blazing building. The heavy smoke instantly choked him, getting into his eyes and leaving them streaming. He ignored it all, it was all irrelevant. 

He felt his skin burning as he navigated the building like he was just walking through a garden on a leisurely stroll. He kept walking even when it was too difficult to continue. He kept walking until his legs were physically no longer able to support him. When he collapsed, no longer able to breathe or see, his head cloudy and heavy and hitting the hard floor with a deafening crack, Kenny could only smile. 

The smile remained on his face even as he died. 

_“Kenny?”_

Kenny smiled at the familiar voice. It was Butters, he was with Butters. It had worked. He’d gotten his wish. 

Kenny opened his eyes, expecting to be met with the striking blue pair he loved so much, scar and all.

All he saw was his bedroom ceiling. 

Tears started falling. Kenny wasn’t sure they’d ever stop.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/139273360@N08/27361687788/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it. Thank you to anyone who has/will leave kudos and comments. Also, sorry about Butters haha. I don’t know what possessed me to write this but I was like a woman possessed, cranking out words like nobodies business. I hope it made sense and was readable, I only semi edited it (my best writing is always left to sit for a month then properly edited later on but I allow myself a break from that with fanfiction so the quality sometimes suffers a bit, apologies.)
> 
> Also, sorry for the bad doodles lol. I don’t claim to be any kind of good artist but I enjoy doing the odd doodle and decided to challenge myself.


End file.
